If you are unhappy about something or someone in your life and talk about it a lot, are you complaining or simply being real?

The law of attraction is clear. Whatever you give your attention, energy and focus to, you magnify – and draw more of the same to you.

Complaining is a continual inner resistance to what is showing up in your life. Often, this resistance is accompanied by continual negative thoughts about a particular person and/or life situation, and a repetitive voicing of that negativity to anyone who will listen. Yet, the main cause of negativity is going on inside your head – i.e. self-talk!

The result is that the energy of the dissatisfaction builds, since there is no focus on resolving it!

Many people, most often through a lack of inner awareness, find much to complain about, from the weather to their job, their partner, their family, their lack of money, their lack of health and, underpinning all of this, usually lies a deep unhappiness and resentment towards some, many or all of the circumstances and conditions of their life.

Let’s be honest here for a moment, complaining — i.e. talking incessantly about what we don’t want/like in our lives — doesn’t change anything for us.

So does that mean we should never talk about our problems?

No, of course not! That would be silly! It could even lead to a bottling up of negative emotions, which is not good for one’s mental or even physical health.

If we find that we have been triggered, and that we are unhappy about something or someone, we must surely be able to admit that to ourselves to be able to change our state of being. So, talking to a close friend or mentor can provide us with release of energy we seek.

Denial, or pretending to be happy, does not serve any of us – and, in fact, this type of ‘positive thinking’ is not positive at all! That’s why so many people read about ‘The Law of Attraction’ and soon get disillusioned with ‘thinking positively’ all  the time. Not only is this impossible, but they’ve failed to take the first step of admitting the truth to themselves!  The Law of Attraction says you start from where you are at.  If you are standing in ‘this sucks’ street, there’s really no point pretending it’s ‘bed of roses’ street.

Saying, “I’m okay,” when you are clearly not feeling okay is a recipe for disaster. Pretending to be happy does more harm than good, and is a result of misunderstanding the law of vibration. If you can’t acknowledge the negative thoughts and feelings you have, then you certainly can’t change them. You may also be a ‘ticking time bomb’, waiting to explode!

The essence of this matter comes down to your intention. Why are you focusing on the negative? Do you wish to find a resolution, or are you just content to moan and groan?

It also comes down to how long you focus negatively. If you vent quickly and then seek to regain your emotional balance, it won’t have that dreaded magnifying effect.

We are invited not to magnify our state of unhappiness by dwelling on unhappy circumstances, continually thinking and talking about them. Thought produces experience, which produces thought, which produces experience! It’s a vicious cycle!

If we continually talk about our unhappiness and do not actively seek to change that energy, we can easily fall into the trap of complaining, which will perpetuate our state of unhappiness! The Law of Attraction is a Universal Law. It is set up to match energy or frequency, and it has no judgment. You get to choose what energies you focus on, every time.

When we resist anything, we unwittingly root it in place – and the law of vibration/law of attraction has no judgment. It simply gives us more of the same!

One of the most powerful ways to meet the challenges of our lives is through the Eastern method of ‘witnessing’. Through prayer (asking the Universe for a solution) and meditation (listening, and receiving that solution as a flash of insight!), we regain the perspective of our higher self. This higher awareness breaks the vicious cycle, allowing us to think a new thought, feel a new emotion, and take action from the resultant shift in consciousness.

If we can’t change the situation, then meditating will allow us to move into acceptance of ‘what is’, until we can change it (later on). We may even remember to be thankful for our ‘adversity’, knowing that it is presenting us with an opportunity to grow, and find inner resources we didn’t know we had!

‘A thankful person is thankful under all circumstances. A complaining soul complains even in paradise.’ Baha’u’allah

When you find yourself in a state of negativity, which shows up as tension in your mind and body, immediately ask, ‘what do I really want?’ and move towards that new awareness. We must learn to use the contrasting experiences of our lives to go upwards in consciousness, rather than going around in a vicious circle.

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